I have been following Q.Noor Temple Dresses on Instagram for a while and when I started this new series I remembered a post that Rosie wrote a few months prior, which she shares at the beginning of her story about dishes, and figured that even though she is a super busy business owner and do-gooder that I would ask her to write something for this blog. I am so grateful she said yes because I love what she has to say about being single.
Rosemary Card grew up in Utah and New York. At the age of 16, she left Salt Lake City to model internationally with Elite Model Management after being scouted on the set of High School Musical. Rosie worked in NYC, Milan, Singapore, and Tokyo before retiring from the industry shortly after she turned 18.
Since 2007, She has been speaking to youth groups and Relief Societies about her experiences as a high fashion model and the importance of education and service in the journey of self-acceptance. Rosie has made guest appearances on many podcasts and NPR.
She graduated from BYU with a degree in Broadcast Journalism and served a mission in the faraway magical land of Mesa, Arizona. After college, she worked for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints producing and shooting videos internationally. She worked on various projects including the “I’m a Mormon” campaign, The Bible Videos, My Plan, and Elder Nelson’s 90th Birthday.
She launched Q.NOOR, a line of LDS temple dresses designed to help women feel more at home in the House of the Lord late 2015. Q.NOOR has been featured in many publications including The Desert News, The Friend Magazine, The Daily Mail, The New York Times, and the Card family scrapbook.
She lives in Salt Lake City with her Goldendoodle, Ted, and is a proud pioneer of the stay-at-home-YSA lifestyle. She loves watching dog videos on the internet, Arby’s, serving refugee families in her community, and is currently mastering “Oh Susanna” on the harmonica.
Eight years ago I was walking on BYU campus and listening to a talk by a sister leader…and I can’t remember her name so…sorry. She related a memory of when she purchased her first home and cried her eyes out while she unpacked her dishes. She was crushed because she felt like she was supposed to be buying that home with a husband. They were supposed to be unpacking those dishes together. And someone else was supposed to have bought those dang dishes off a wedding registry.
When I heard that, I had a distinct feeling that one day I would buy my own home ….and dishes. For a moment I felt disappointed that my life may not turn out like those lists I made in YW, but then I felt total peace. I promised myself then and there that when the day came that I buy my own home and dishes, I wouldn’t be crushed and I wouldn’t cry.
A couple of months ago, after years of saving, I bought my own home and dishes AND I cried. Not because I feel like something has gone wrong with “the plan,” but because I can’t believe how perfectly it has all come together.
My life as a stay-at-home YSA dog mom business owner is what God has chosen to help me become like Christ. It has its ups and downs. Freedom and bad dates. Excitement and disappointment. Today I feel truly grateful for it all.
I am not living my Plan B life. I am living the life God intended for me all along. Marriage is one of the many tools God uses to help us become like His Son, Jesus Christ. But it is not the only tool and it is not the tool He uses for everyone. Single members of the Church are not in a progression holding pattern. We are just progressing differently than married members.
Believe it or not, I am 28 years old, single as h*ck, and happy as can be. I have great friends who fill my love cup to the brim. I have a job that stretches me and pushes me in ways I could have never have imagined. My singleness allows me to serve in the Church and in my community in ways I couldn’t if I was married and it fills my heart with satisfaction. First dates, break-ups and everything in between teach me about people, communication, trust, forgiveness, and so much more. I am becoming like Christ. Sure, I have hard days like anyone else, but there is not a gaping hole in my life. The only time I cry myself to sleep is when I watch YouTube montages of veterans returning to their dogs after deployment.
I worry that we set single members of the Church up for failure when we teach that marriage is the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to become like Christ. Regardless of what some people in my life may think, I don’t have control over when I get married. I do have control over how I feel about it. Are there lonely nights? Yes. But I’m willing to guess there are lonely nights for married people, too. Can it be discouraging to watch my friends having and raising kids? Yes. But I’m guessing it can be discouraging for my stay-at-home mom friends to watch their single friends traveling and doing big things at work.
When we divide ourselves into different teams we immediately start playing the comparison game. In the comparison game, there are no winners. Everyone walks away feeling sad and discouraged because that’s what happens when you’re ungrateful for the life you have been given. Wouldn’t it be nice it was could stop bickering over who has it harder/easier or who is happier/sadder? Wouldn’t it be better if we all started just seeing each other as brothers and sisters working to get home? I sure think so.